When I was in my corporate job years ago, I had no awareness of what “alignment’ even was. I just did what I did, rarely questioned my ‘purpose’ and focused on working my way up the corporate ladder.
I’ve been on such a journey of self discovery, personal development and spiritual evolution since those days of working at BMW head office in Munich and I really want to share with you what I NOW know about alignment. I’ve discovered that when the whispers of our soul are not being heard (as we often tune out of them for whatever reason), they will get louder and louder until we have no choice but to listen.
Here are 7 ways that you can tell if you are out of alignment with yourself. Your truth. Your soul fed woman.
1 – FEELING ANXIOUS AND UNSETTLED
Feeling unsettled for no specific reason with an underlying anxiety is one of the symptoms which many of my clients report.
When I was in the corporate world, I remember sitting at my desk and feeling really anxious and unsettled. Most of the time. Fearful almost. There was no logical reason why. I wasn’t in trouble. I hadn’t done anything wrong that could have cost me my job but that anxious and unsettled feeling remained for months and months and months.
It stopped when I handed in my notice and started working for myself. That was 10 years ago now and I have never looked back. I haven’t experienced the Monday morning blues in the last decade which I am truly grateful for!
So many of my clients have struggled with a similar feeling. If this is something which you notice more days than you don’t, might I invite you to be open to those feelings and sensations as being your inner compass guiding you?
Showing you things which need your attention?
2 – A SENSE THAT SOMETHING IS OFF
Ever had that feeling that something isn’t quite right but you can’t quite put your finger on it?
Do you question yourself as to whether you are even making it up?
That feeling, that awareness, that sense you have is your inner wisdom trying to bring something in to your greater awareness. And it’s almost always an alignment issue.
That job you’ve been offered but something feels off……..probably not the right job for you
That person you’ve just met, that potential client or that coach, and something feels a little strange…..probably an alignment issue and they aren’t right for you
That trip you want to plan.
That place you want to stay.
That ‘thing’ you want to buy or invest in.
I have learnt over the years that when I am aligned with whatever it might be, I have a sense/feeling/awareness which makes me feel good, happy, light, expansive and joyful.
When I feel ‘off’, unsettled, uneasy, unsure…..I always check in with myself and 99% of the time, I know it’s the universe showing me that I am out of alignment and that ‘thing’ or person isn’t for my highest and greatest good.
3 – TIRED AND EXHAUSTED
Can we talk about tiredness?
Now I know that being an ambitious and driven women you are probably juggling and multitasking like the pro you are (kudos to you!) but how are your energy levels??
I can’t tell you how many of my clients have reported feeling so exhausted they could just fall asleep.
Exhaustion and feeling bone tired, I truly believe are an indication that something is ‘out’
We get our vitality and energy from life, so when life has become a monotonous hamster wheel, dull, overwhelming and with very little fun and enjoyment, is it any wonder that our batteries become depleted?
I’ve also noticed a very common pattern with my clients over the years.
For many ambitious, driven and high achieving women, we often believe we can handle it all (yes I’m one of those women too), and we juggle things to squeeze as much in as possible. Often to our detriment.
We don’t ask for help.
We believe we can do it all
We think that we have everything under control.
Until exhaustion kicks in and we end up crashing and burning as a result of that ‘strong and powerful woman’ that we’ve stepped into believing we have to be all the time.
At the end of 2016 that was me. Managing the children and all of their school/after school schedule, juggling clients in-between sorting things out for the house and our family, taking care of bills and banking whilst building a new website, running around like a headless chicken sorting out the dinner, doing the washing and feeling totally resentful towards my husband that I was ‘having’ to do it all and I had no time for me.
‘But you never ask for help! Tell me what I can do so you don’t feel like you have to do it all!’ was Simon’s response when I lost it one night. Exhausted and sooooooooo tired, I’d just started moving yet another load of washing and I burst into tears.
Since then, we have a new structure which works for us. We split everything as much as possible. I don’t try and do it all anymore.
I’ve realized that I can ‘have it all’ but I don’t have to ‘do it all’ in the process.
More BEING and less DOING.
And asking for help? All Soul Fed Women ask for help 😉
The thing is, everything flows and everything has a cycle.
Our energy included.
Yet when you notice that your batteries are more empty than they are charged and your energy levels are affected, it’s a red flag to start slowing down a little, create some space and start to recognise how you can recharge your soul.
4 – OVERWHELM
We all know that feeling don’t we?
Too many things to do and not enough time.
So much to do, where do I start?
Now I’m not saying that when we are in alignment with our truth and our truest selves, that overwhelm will never happen again.
That’s not realistic but what is realistic to expect is that when we are in alignment, we are more likely to be able to prevent overwhelm from occurring and should it start to appear, we are able to address it, acknowledge it and deal with it swiftly.
Overwhelm was my nemesis for many years. The place in which I became used to being. Feeling that familiar knot in my stomach, head whizzing with 1001 thoughts and not knowing whether I was coming or going.
It doesn’t need to be that way.
Alignment has taught me that everything can be easy if we allow it to.
It’s a choice.
And choosing to no longer be in overwhelm starts with aligning to your truth.
What do you want? What do you need? What no longer serves you? What lights you up?
5 – FEELING RESTLESS
Not quite the same as being unsettled, this is more of having a desire to go and just walk away.
Walk out of your job.
Walk out of your marriage or relationship.
Walk away from all those responsibilities for a while
I’ve had several times over the last 10 years when I’ve felt like this. Standing in the kitchen cooking dinner, with the phone ringing, the children falling out, my head whizzing with my to-do list, the dishwasher beeping as it needs emptying whilst thinking about all things still to do for my clients and for my business…..the desire to just walk away, well it was there. On more than one occassion.
When everything got too much. When I was overwhelmed and paddling frantically to keep everything ticking along and not falling apart. Worried that in any moment, it could all come crashing down.
I know that sounds dramatic but sometimes our reality does involve too many moving parts, leading to overwhelm (see point 4)
And it’s a sure fire sign that something, deep within you, is missing and your soul is craving for something
6 – YOU’VE FORGOTTEN WHAT LIGHTS YOU UP
‘So what do you do which lights you up?’ I asked my client
She looked at me blankly, her eyes frantically searching for the answer somewhere within her.
‘I don’t know. I really don’t know‘ was her response after a long pause.
And that answer is not uncommon. In fact over the years, that’s one of the standard answers I get when I’m working with my clients. Women who are driven, high achieving, successful. Yet no longer able to think of anything which lights their souls and brings a smile to their faces.
Remember when you were younger and your responsibilities and pressures where far less than they are now? What did you do which made you smile? What lit you up? What did you do to let your hair down and just laugh and have fun?
Those things (where appropriate!), need to be sprinkled once more into your life in ways which support who you are now.
If going out to night clubs and dancing into the small hours was your thing (it certainly was mine, I have fond memories of Ibiza in particular), yet that’s not really something you could get away with anymore (hangover anyone?!), maybe start dance lessons.
Maybe find a dance based fitness class. Maybe look into burlesque classes.
There are so many options which can still feed your soul as it did back then. You might just need to think outside of the box
7 – YOU NUMB OUT OF YOUR CURRENT REALITY
The truth is we all crave things in life.
Yet when these non physical hungers aren’t acknowledged or fed, then what?
We end up with the Hungry Soul Syndrome.
Feeling flat, disconnected, joyless, empty, bored, anxious, unsettled, unfulfilled, unsatisfied and craving for more.
We lose ourselves.
We no longer know who we are, let alone what we want, crave or desire.
We turn to ‘things’ to alleviate these empty voids – food, chocolate, sugar, social media, alcohol, shopping, cigarettes, toxic relationships.
Yet all we want is to feel happy, content, in alignment with who we are
If you find yourself heading to the kitchen in search of food when you know you aren’t physically hungry, craving chocolate when you feel unsettled and stressed or desperate for your latest adrenalin rush of handing over your card with a shopping trip when you’ve had a bad day, I invite you to view these behaviors as your guide to what is really going on
Regardless of what your soul is starving for at the moment, I want to be brutally honest with you.
The answers to feeling truly satisfied, well fed and nourished will never be found in the places you are looking at the moment.
They won’t be found on a diet or an eating plan nor will they be found through restriction, deprivation and trying to manipulate your body into changing size, shape and weight.
They won’t be found through the exhilaration of blowing $1000 in a single shopping spree only to keep the clothes in the bags as you feel guilty for what you bought.
They also won’t be found in the bottom of a wine glass, a family size bar of chocolate or a packet of cigarettes
THE ANSWERS ARE WITHIN YOU. WHEN YOU LEARN TO LISTEN AND TRUST WHAT YOU HEAR
When we can start becoming aware of what we are really hungry for in life and creating space for our needs and our truth, we start getting back in touch with ourselves on a soul level.
And life changes. the connection to our life, our body, our personal relationships, our business
When we can start reconnecting to ourselves in a way we may not have done in years, we start to realise that our food struggles, compulsive shopping, toxic relationships and social binge drinking have very little to do with what we thought but are in fact coping strategies for our busy, hectic, stressful & often unsatisfied lives we lead.
When we start becoming honest with ourselves about what we really desire and crave, and then take steps towards it, symptoms of a hungry soul fade into the background.
When we listen, really listen to our soul hungers, we can hear the whispers of who we truly are.
Without the mask.
Without the stories we tell ourselves.
Without the excuses we are hiding behind.
Alignment feels good.
Alignment has a sense of ease about it.
Alignment is YOUR default setting (you’ve just forgotten it along the way)
SO HOW DO I BECOME MORE ALIGNED?
Ask questions. Lots of questions.
What do I want? What do I need? What lights me up? What makes me happy? What do I do for me? What no longer serves me? What do I want more of? What do I want less of?
Take responsibility for your life and your happiness. No-one can change your life, only you. If there are things which are making you dim your light, make you feel stuck, trapped, lost and unhappy……DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. And NOW. Not when it reaches breaking point.
Learn to meditate (I have a free meditation album here)
Make space for yourself outside of work, business, families and grown up responsibilities
Have fun and add more joy in to your week
Get support and the right teacher to help you…….
Do you identify with being a driven, ambitious and high achieving women who wants more out of life?
Applications for the Soul Freedom Sisterhood are now open. This is a 6 month journey for 10 women who are ready to find themselves again and discover what their souls are craving and what is missing from the core of who they are.
A journey to help you reconnect back to your intuition, inner wisdom and soul so you are no longer lost in your to do lists and the monotonous hamster wheel of life and instead create space for you to be you again. Rediscovering all those things which light you up and feed your soul.
To get started, head over to: https://www.soulfedwoman.com/sisterhood